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Virgin at Rodeo

July 2007

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Virgin at Rodeo

Gah! Busy, busy, busy!

I move in threeee months! THREE months! I'm scared to death. I have so many things that need to be done and paid off before I can go. So, I'm hoping to make some items and enter the local Craft Fair. Hopefully it'll make me a little moving money, because I seriously need it.

Work has been horrible. My endo is kicking in hard after leaning on tables all night. It hurts to walk at the end of shift from being so sore with cramps. I need to see my DR again, although I'm afraid she won't give me anything. She refuses to give me any kind of pain medication because "she doesn't want me to become addicted". Well, smarty, I can't get addicted if you don't even give me a chance! Sheesh! I need some insurance so I can see a real DR.
And my uniform pants cause major drying of the skin. It sucks. And I'm having NO LUCK what so ever trying to find some body lotion/body butter for REALLY super dry, rough skin for all over instead of just one body part. This lotion bar from Moon Valley Honey is adorable. This Body Butta sounds great, too. I'm going to need to buy some. Anyways.

As for crafting stuff, I have so mant WIPs that I've lost count. I'm working on something for my secret pal that's been sending me awesome packages (three for June alone! *SQUEEEE*) and I'm working on a couple of things for my SP. Hopefully they'll be done in time. I'm praying they are.

My mother took my daughter to a babyshower last week. I've been told twice now what a horrible child I have. It pisses me off to no end when people tell me how to raise my child. She's NOT horrible, she's 4! She has manners. She DOES get excited like ALL other children. Just mind your own business, all right? It'll make us all happier.

I still want a Spool Knitter. Or something equal. I just want those ropes! I have no luck making them in my crocheted way. It's annoying AND I have all these wonderful ideas that are just swimming in my head, looking for a bite to eat. I was thinking of getting it for myself, but I just don't have the spare money. (I'm splurging on my SP, though. I can't help it. I just tell my family that it HAS to be done. Hahaha.)

And have I ever mentioned my obsession with blank, decorative journals? I LOVE them. Here's a list of my current favs that I'm drooling over:

Journal- Lomper the Nightmare Snatcher
Beaded Handmade Journal, with handmade paper
Journal Vintage Cover
Woman Warrior Earth Goddess Piano Hinge Art Journal (How beautiful is this? I'm in wowdom!)
Carnival Blank Book
Red, Mini Leather Journal (I LOVE this!)
GREEK FAIRY TALES Signature Bound Journal (A favorite I must add to my collection soon!)
Leather Journal / Sketchbook - distressed brown - 320 pages
Althea, Leather Journal (*Dies and goes to journal heaven*)
Pink Cherry Blossom Journal
Floral Handbound Notebook
Hardcover Beaded Journal - Summer Orange
Small Lined Journal - Red (This would be perfect for my writing. Poetry, that is.)
Redish Blank Journal (This one would be great, too)
Hand-bound Goldfish Journal
Handbound Book - Golden Thread
Green Leaves, Sketchbook

There is ton more, but I'll spare you anymore links. Hehe.

I REALLY want to learn how to bind books so I can make my own journals. I really do. But, I don't know where to start. =( Guess it's library time. Even without binding books, I still want A Paper Trimmer / Cutter, because I can't cut a straight line to save my life.

I decided to add some book-binding books to my Amazon wishlist. Heh.
My Amazon.com Wish List

And, really, THIS handmade paper totally rocks my socks and every thing else, too.

Ok, enough about that.

A little note to those wanting to add me to their FL: I'm moving journals once SPLJ4 is over. =] dayweygunekwe


Again, sorry SP about my lack of posting. I hope this makes up for it a little. =(


So it sounds like tis bad mother is just projecting herself onto you.

I can't risk looking t hte links right now, I have poor impuls control at the moment and i had to declare bankruptcy because I racked up a 12 thousand dolarr debt.

Quik question? What exactly is endo?? I believe it is endometriosis but I'm not clear on what it does to you. If you don't mind sharing.

She is. She's a jealous little... wench. Yeah. Wench.

I have debt. Not that much, but still. Ugh. I know the feeling. I'm having a hell of a time saving for my big huge move.

Yup. Endo is endometriosis.
It does different things to different women, but for me it mainly causes ALOT of excruciating pain. Basically, I rarely ovulate (I hit the exact date in order to have my child. Amazing, I tell you, amazing!) and when I do, it's horrible and harsh. I don't have any kind of schedule when it comes to my periods because my walls just eventually break down instead of doing it once a month like a normal body would. So, sometimes I can go without a period in a month to having a 4 month long period. I hate it. They tried using birth control on me, but it only makes it worse. So, my options are either have all of my poor female organs removed OR go into pre-mature menopause. Those are the only things that will stop the pain. The horrible, horrible, can't move because it hurts so bad pain.

But, I'm a unique case, my DR said. Usually women don't suffer as bad. Or so he says. Sex is usually painful because of the problems. I HATE going in for my yearly exam or for all the paps and whatnot I have to have because it hurts so bad for them to check. I'm usually in tears by the time they are done.

Anywho. Yea. It's basically something to do with the inner cervix/uterus/whatever the hell it is. I can't remember the exact location where it causes problems. All I know is it hurts.

Did that help any at all? Lol.
AND it's hereditary.

My mother has a bad case of it.
Well, actually, her's was fixed with hormones so it's not so bad now.

But her longest "period" was 2 and a half years. Straight. Without a break from the damned bleeding.

I curse my mother whenever I have to go to the DR. Lol.
sounds like we both have a strong conception of living with pain
please please whatever you do look into taking hormones before taking them, they can be horrible or make things worse. I'd say do not get rid of you female body, yes, its speaking to you in pain,it needs attention.

i'VE heard of an herb called MACA that is supposed to be really good at hormonal stuff. Its a root from Peru, expensive but worth a try.

hope yur pain is less today *passes bouquet* HUG
Oh, I plan on it, but seeing as I have no insurance right now there is no cure in site for me for a very long time.

I'd never get anything removed unless it was absolutely life threatening. My body needs something. And soon. It's screaming at me.

MACA? I'll look it up and see what it's all about. Expensive is worth it if it'll help me out.

Thank you. =] I had to come home from work sick because of the pain, but it's lessening for the moment. *huggggs n' sniff sniffs the flowers*
*hug hug hug*
Try looking at what you eat. sugar makes my pain more.
caffeine makes my pain more.
Food additives, etc.
It.s not easy and I'm not been doingit lately but if I get it completly right it improves my health alot.

Did you know sugar is suppose to help relieve pain? Something in chocolate helps release something that is suppose to relieve pain.

But, yeah. I've been eating good (when I do eat - they gave me this pain medication that makes me a bit dizzy.. especially when I see or smell food).
I know chocolate does that good thang but I know for me the sugar and caffeine shake me up so it ends up me paying a price in the end anyways. I do enjoy a good bit o chocolate every now and then though. Can you imagine who doesn't??
Stupid pain medication!!
yay to good food!!!
Caffeine doesn't do much to me. It helps me stay awake at work when my meds kick in. And thank god for the meds at work! Without them, I'd probably go home sick every day and loose my job. I have to lean against a hard table for eight hours dealing cards. It hits me right where I get all the cramping and spasming.

And, yea. Mmm. Chocolate.
eeek poor hips and innards.

do you work in a casino??

because my difficulty is within my nervous system caffeine can like complete kill me, that's not to say I don't indulge though. I mean I love coffee and tea and sometimes it improves my mood and coffee is like a happy drink. I just know it's bad for me cause when I get real sick like i am now i get off the caffeice and I can feel how much better my nerves feel, well relatively anyways.

Do you ever use your hands to masssagge or rub your cramping and spasming or at least just gently touch or make contact with it?? maybe they want to talk to your hands?? Your hands sound like they have power (crochet, dealing cards, making creative things) maybe you could make new innards with you r hands heh heh.

now you see how really very strange I am *smiles sweetly* but i believe what I'm saying, i use my hands to push at my pain. I know that is an autistic thing cuz most like deep pressure. my mom would wear out her hands trying to press all my pain away and i used alot of conscious effort to stop from hitting her to remember it wasn't her fault the pain was there she would press it and it felt better after.

yep that's me.
Ok, no caffiene for you. I want you as happy and as healthy as can be. =]

Yup. I work in a casino. Ick.

And, yes, I do massage myself when I'm cramping - if I can stand it. Sometimes just the lightest touch makes me double over in pain. And I freely admit that when it gets that bad, I cry like a child. I sob and want no one but my mother.

And I don't think you're strange at all. Medicine men use their hands to heal all the time, so I don't see why you would be any different. Erm. To heal yourself, that is.

*gives you special lovings*
eee thanks
*glasps hand with bubble over head reading 'someone understands'*
None needed!